Addicted Oklahoma: Recovering Addict Lea Gray (2014-03-31)

I don’t know I mean when you’re taking seven lortabs at a time just to get well just so you don’t puke your guts out that’s a that controls your whole life it controls everything it just grabs your soul and you can’t get away from it you know you can’t nobody’s strong enough to overcome something like that on their.

Own you think you are you always think you are you always think oh I can quit or I can stop but you get sick and you feel bad and you’re gonna pop another handful of pills just like I did just like everybody else will.

You know you’re sick and and you know what’s going to make you feel better and there’s only one thing that’s going to make you feel better so it’s just too easy no matter how hard.

It is to get over whether you’ve got to go to the doctor or whether they’ve got to go down the street and you know knock on somebody’s back door it doesn’t really matter you’ll do it because that’s the only thing that’s going.

To stop it when you do pills for so long.

Like that your brain just goes too much I mean you can’t think and you you think nobody knows and you think that you’re.

Smarter than everybody and you think that everybody is out to get you and it’s all everybody else you know and I couldn’t really grasp.

The the point that yeah I can stop taking pills but I can’t just stop taking pills I got to stop hanging out with these people I got to change my lifestyle I’ve got to fix you know it you can fix the.

Physical but then you have to fix the mental and if your minds still sick then your body’s going to follow it’s you can’t you can’t fix one without the other you have to have both.

And I think that’s probably why I didn’t get clean and stay clean that time I mean I.

Did stay clean for a while but not.

For long enough to matter and you know and then it got pretty.

Bad after that I mean once you know I held a job I mean I had a job and stuff but it got a lot worse I mean it got into you know I was I could take so many lortabs because my tolerance was you know sky-high I and my dose would kill a horse but it didn’t really do much for me so then you move into oxycontin and stuff like that and you know.

People say oh I never shoot up I’d never do that I’d never stick needles in my arm you know if it gets bad enough you will you’ll do lots of things that you never thought you’d do and you won’t think about it while you’re doing it you know it’ll never it never crosses your mind that oh what.

Am i doing because you’re high you’re too screwed up your brain.

Is gone you know and all you care about is that high you know I just thought God you know all look at the pain look at the devastation that this causes and everybody thinks it’s okay because you get a script from the doctor from you know you can get it from the doctor it’s okay the doctor says I can take it yeah well people are dying children are losing their mothers mothers are losing their daughters it’s not it’s not.

Just okay yeah I’m taking too many I mean are you know getting a few.

Extra it it’s a serious addiction and it’s just like alcoholism or cocaine or crack coke or crack or any of that it’s the same thing but people don’t understand it they look at.